I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
