That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
