Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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