no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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