I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
