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• (941): View more from Florida

  Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I just got carded by a ten year old.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  Outside

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good

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• (310): View more from California

  The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.

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