babies were throwing up all over the place
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
