I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
