Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I will die if light touches me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
