Sacagawea was the original milf.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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