Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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