Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
