also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
