he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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