do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
All the doctor said was why
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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