I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
