How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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