Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
