Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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