What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
