I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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