Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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