My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
