They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
