I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
