You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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