i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
