I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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