I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
