she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
