I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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