he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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