apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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