so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
