No more Irish car bombs ever.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
