i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
