Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
