I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
