Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
