just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
