You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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