But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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