You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
