so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Text me some of your sweat
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
