Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
