yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
