i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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