I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
