I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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