I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
