Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
