That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
